Two Thousand and Fourteen

A slightly rambling and self-focused post incoming:

I'm not really one for New Year's Resolutions, but I wanted to have a quick run through my plans for the year. I didn't exactly come out and announce it, but I always intended for 2013 to be a year of change for me. Specifically I intended for it to be a year where I focused on self-improvement, and I honestly think I made some real progress. It was my year of things I wanted to stop doing, for example:

• Early in the year I stopped drinking soft drink, specifically Coke, but I included all soft drink to avoid moving my vice over to an alternative. Which I would have done. Because I have no willpower to resist a loophole.
• I became vegan, I'm no longer eating any animal products, and as my other products wear out (such as my shoes, shampoo, dish washing liquid, etc.) I'm making sure they're replaced with cruelty free variants, if they weren't already.
• Aside from those specifics, I'm trying to eat better in general. So I've stopped eating as much bad food.
• I stopped referring to myself as a gamer. Or at very least I'm trying to, unfortunately it's still a useful label, I do play a lot of video games, but it's not a label I'm particularly fond of any more. To be clear, I'm not ashamed of my hobbies, but I am ashamed of some of the frankly awful human beings who also identify as gamers. Homophobia, misogyny, racism, close-mindedness and wilful ignorance run rampant through the whole culture and I'm sick to death of it. I have an entire post dedicated to this bubbling away, which may or may not appear at some point in the future.
• I tried to stop letting my social anxieties steer my actions. I stopped putting it off and caught up with some old friends. I didn't let my fears stop me from making some new ones. I spent as much time as I felt comfortable socialising; when I'd had enough, I let people know, returned home and recharged. Embracing my introversion has ironically let me push my social limits a bit, since I know those limits are there, and knowing is half the battle. I'm sure my social skills could still do with some work, but I've improved a lot.

So I've got a huge list of things I'm no longer doing. And that's great! But as anyone who knows me is aware, I'm the master of not doing things. So I intend for 2014 to be a year of self-improvement as well, specifically this year, I'm going to focus on the things I should be doing. 2013 was about clearing the slate, 2014 will be about building myself back up again. More examples:

• Learning to cook, or at least the basics. I've never enjoyed cooking much, but learning the basics could be useful and I do enjoy it occasionally when I'm creating something a little bit left-of-centre (like my world-famous chocolate cake in a mug).
• Getting fit - Exercise! - I've already started this, I'm going to try for at least half an hour each day, and that's on top of the 40 minutes I walk already per day to get to and from work. I've already spoken about this on Facebook, specifically I need to be in shape by November this year to play the part of Dante at PAX. Which is going to be embarrassing...
• I'm going to do things that embarrass me! More than anything else I fear failure and embarrassment, and it needs to end. Experience comes from failure, so logically I can't experience much if I'm too afraid of failing to even try things. 
• I'm going to keep socialising. I recognise my limits, and I'm happy to let people know when I need alone time, but when I feel like spending time with other people, I will pick up the phone and make plans.
• Try to find my creative side again. I love art. I love reading and writing. I love movies, cinema and theatre. Besides watching entirely too many TV shows, I don't really engage in activities related to any of the above with any real frequency. I occasionally scratch away at the painting I've been working on for months or catch a movie in cinema, but that's about it. This is going to be one I'll struggle with a bit, but I've found it's best to be flexible. If I don't feel like doing art, I'll write something, if I don't feel like that, I'll watch a movie or read a book. My current plan is to start watching some classic cinema that I've missed out on over the years (I started with Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, it was a great movie!)

And so on and so forth, I'm sure some other things will occur to me as the year goes on. I've already made some progress on all the above, much of it started last year in reality - I'm trying to stick to my themes here - but I plan on focusing on those points this year. That's it really, just wanted it down in writing. Wish me luck!